Summary: Explore the journey of personal growth and the power of staying present by utilizing the technique of Notice, Shift, Rewire, as discussed in an insightful conversation between Jay Shetty and Mel Robbins on the ON Purpose podcast. 5 Minute Read
An Insightful Conversation
This morning, on my daily walk, I found myself tuned into an episode of my favorite podcast, ON Purpose by Jay Shetty. The conversation unfolded with Mel Robbins, an authority figure in self-confidence and empowerment, and a #1 New York Times Best Selling Author.
When Jay asked Mel about the most challenging aspects she’s currently working on in her life, her answer was simple yet powerful: “happiness.” The response set the foundation for an insightful conversation about learning life lessons the hard way and understanding the concept of happiness.
The Power of Letting Go
Mel shared a personal story of waking up next to her 22-year-old daughter, who usually lives hundreds of miles away in California. A moment of happiness, she recalls, soon turned into a sad realization of her daughter’s absence in her daily life.
She said that “one of the hardest things to do when you love somebody so much is understanding that you have to let them go.” This is the path to their growth, a feeling many parents can relate to.
Leaving the Nest: A Personal Journey
Why am I sharing this story with you? Because many of us, like myself, can likely empathize with this feeling from the perspective of the one who leaves the nest to chase their dreams.
I was 18 when I officially took on my journey to become a professional basketball player, leaving the comfort of my home behind to study and play basketball at Temple University. But despite living my dream, for the first few months I found my mind focusing on feelings of loneliness, cultural shock, and the sense that something was missing.
Even though I was doing what I wanted most since I was a little kid, I would cry myself to sleep every night. Why did that happen?
The Million-Dollar Question: Why Do We Cling to Unhappiness?
During the interview, Mel reflected on a thought-provoking question that resonated with me: “Why is it that most of us are always gripping onto the thing that makes us unhappy?”
Often, we default to focusing on loss or absence, worrying about what will happen in the future or what we left behind from our past, instead of celebrating our current blessings.
What is it about this “campaign of misery,” as she calls it? Why do we always default to the loss and what’s not there, instead of focusing on the fact that, here we are, lucky enough to have what we have and to be doing what we love?
Embracing the Uncomfortable
In the face of these existential questions, I don’t have a clear answer for you. What I can tell you, however, is what my experience has taught me. I’ve realized that trying to escape these uncomfortable thoughts only strengthens their negative impact.
Rather, I encourage you to embrace them. By acknowledging these thoughts, we can intentionally shift our mindset to focus on the present moment. Here’s a powerful tool to help you with that.
“Notice, Shift, Rewire”: An Exercise to Staying Present
This is where the technique of Notice, Shift, Rewire comes into play, a powerful coaching tool to help keep your focus in the present moment. Next time you come across any of the feelings described in this newsletter or similar:
1. NOTICE that your energy or attention (thoughts, feelings) is divided and identify the distraction or interference.
2. After noticing, SHIFT gears and bring your attention back to the task at hand. Be mindful but not upset, angry, or judgmental.
3. Lastly, REWIRE by immersing yourself in the experience of engaging with the one thing you are busy with at that particular moment.
Harnessing the Power of Now
With practice, this exercise has the potential to rewire your brain, allowing you to stay fully present in the moment. The beauty of the present lies in its fleeting nature, in the joy and sorrow it brings, and in the lessons it teaches us.
Our journey through life is defined by moments of happiness and sadness, moments of being together and being apart, moments of dreaming and achieving. It’s through these contrasts that we find meaning, growth, and ultimately, a sense of fulfillment.
So, the next time you find yourself clinging to the negatives or worrying about what’s not there, remember Mel Robbins‘ words and the technique of Notice, Shift, Rewire.
Harness the power of now, for it’s all we truly have.